Questions…and Answers…

A young black man is offered assistance from an older white man, but distrusts the real reason for the help.

Why does he distrust this man?  Has he had negative experiences with white men in the past? Does he hold onto unconscious biases that make him insecure? Is the man actually doing something that should be cause for alarm?

How is the white, older man feeling? What is his motivation? Is he just trying to be helpful?

Race is complicated. With a long, challenging history, even simple interactions can become complex.

Have you ever felt similar to this young black man? The white one?

We all have. Why? We each hold on to stereotypes and biases, rooted from our own social encounters and upbringings.

How can we overcome feeling distrust from someone who is different than us?

We have to listen to one another. Actively Listen.

Acknowledge we have expectations of how the conversation is going to go, but make efforts to break away from those to hear what is being said.  That includes eye contact, facial expressions, tone, and gestures.

Where is this conversation going?

Be present.

Are those who are around you give you a feeling of comfort  or unease? Why? Is it because of what they are saying or because of an unconscious bias?

We each need to listen. We each need to learn.

And we each need to connect with one another to grow.

#StepOut and connect with someone different from yourself, today!

Which Group Did You Join?

Guess what your kids are learning in college?

Colleges and universities are rich with fresh minds, eager to be on their own, longing to belong to something.  A supremacist group offers some of the things college kids are looking for.  Supremacist groups recruit for new members and usually hate isn’t displayed front and center, but some of it is implied. Sometimes they call themselves an organization of sorts which may make them seem more legitimate. For example, a white supremacist group may refer to themselves as,  “…a community that strives to make the world better for the white race.” They sometimes quote scripture, famous leaders and modern-age artists (out of context) to justify and cause intrigue around their cause. Be weary…

Campuses are littered with fliers touting a group’s doctrine just like any other group supported by the college.  Recently, there has been a rise in racial incidents at colleges and universities.  Fliers and graffiti have been found and some of it was quite expletive and hurtful.  We have to be aware of what our young minds are learning, and prepared to help lead them towards a path of love, acceptance and light.

Let’s work together to encourage our youth and #BreakThroughHate.

It’s Just What I Thought…

This article is a gem.

Read with an open mind because some of it might make you reconsider how you think.

You are not right or wrong.  When a joke begins with ‘A guy comes into a room’…what does he look like in our mind?

Tell me what you think in my Step Out! Group.

No shame, because until we get real about Race, we are just spinning our wheels.

How Medically Sound Is This?

According to The Garden City Telegram out of Kansas, (R) Rep. Stephen Alford made some interesting observations about Blacks and drugs.  I don’t think he quoted any medical or psychological studies to support his deductions, it was all just his own comments and opinions. He states, “What was the reason why they [outlawed drugs]?” Alford asked a crowd. “One of the reasons why — I hate to say it — is the African Americans, they were basically users and they basically responded the worst off to those drugs. It’s because of their character makeup — their genetics and that. And so basically what we’re trying to do, is we’re trying to do a complete reverse of the people not remembering what’s happened in the past. So basically, I’m against marijuana all the way through.”

When will people stop making wild unproven statements about others who don’t look like them?  This is just another stereotype and prejudice that becomes fact for some people once they hear it without being backed by factual evidence.  Especially when they come from people in authority.  People who make these comments may believe it is fact because they heard it from someone they considered an authority or are knowledgeable about African-Americans, which is not an excuse.  Who knows how many times and places Rep. Alford has made these statements or some similar.  This is a story that was not prominent on any of the major news wires like many other stories on stereotypes and prejudice.

It is a shame that people in authority believe they can say anything about anyone without any consequences. They totally disregard how their words and thoughts affect others who receive them.  

Think before you speak. No one group of people are all the same.  All German Shepherds are dogs but not all dogs are German Shepherds.  No group of people deserve to be disparaged because of someone else’s ignorance.

Let’s work to understand each other on a deeper level than our appearances. Only then will we embrace our differences and #breakthroughhate. Change will come from the meaningful connections we make with others who are different than ourselves. And when comments are made, like the ones made by Rep. Alford, we can shake our heads, state the facts, and move forward in continuing to love one another.

Ready to spark some change? #StepOut today.

Learning to #StepOut and #BreakThroughHate Together

A big thanks to all who joined me today on Facebook to learn to #StepOut and #BreakThroughHate! If you missed me live, check it out now!

My #StepOut movement excites me, because I know it is an easy and accessible way for people to learn to communicate with and in turn learn from those who are different from themselves. The more we make meaningful connections with people who we otherwise would not know, the more we get to understand different cultures, backgrounds, Races, ethnicity, genders…. the list goes on and on. Once we connect, we learn that our differences are cause to unite us, not divide.

I hope you will join me again Tuesday, 2/06, as we switch up the time to 8PM (EST). I’m enjoying this journey with you and know we are making a difference, one STEP at a time.

See you Tuesday!


It Doesn’t Get Much Better Than This!

Andrew Anglin, a popular white supremacist and founder of neo-Nazi website The Daily Stormer, made an interesting blog post in Feb 2017, in which he states that, “Donald Trump wants to remove us from undue federal scrutiny by removing ‘white supremacists’ from the definition of ‘extremism,’” he said. “Donald Trump is setting us free. It just… It just couldn’t ever get any better than this, I am telling myself. But I know that it is just going to keep getting better.”

With that type of thinking it is easy to understand so many incidents of racial unrest.  It happens in some disturbing ways and some of these are not making it to mainstream reporting. They don’t all have to be in the New York Times or on CNN, but they should be tracked somehow or else these incidents become acceptable, everyday behavior and thought processes.  We’ve been in those dark times before and there is no reason for the past to reoccur, when we’ve worked so hard to make progress.

How do we keep moving forward?  Let’s get to know each other on a deeper level than what we look like or who we worship. Let’s not allow negative, repressive comments or thought processes to hold us back from what we hope to accomplish, but rather, battle against negative, divisive ideologies through understanding and love.  Learn and grow through conversations with substance.  Contemporary Christian music artist Mandissa says it best, ‘We all bleed the same…so tell me why we’re divided.’

Are you ready to be a part of the movement and #StepOut today?


First Facebook Live, A Success!

A huge thank you to the hundreds that joined my first Facebook live! To #breakthroughhate with all of you is a privilege, and we’re just getting started! Join me again next Tuesday at 2PM as we tackle some more tough topics. For those of you that missed it, check it out here:

Again, thank you! We’re doing this together, one step at a time!


Join Me Live on Facebook!

I’m Tresté Loving – founder and CEO of the Institute for Racial Equity, the premier training organization uniting law enforcement professionals and the communities they serve.

Race, division, prejudice and stereotypes have been at the forefront of our news headlines for far too long… and I’m looking to spark some change. I challenge you to join me live, on Facebook, Tuesday, Jan 16th at 2PM (est), as we talk about some tough issues.

Come learn about how our differences actually unite us, as we #breakthroughhate together, one meaningful connection at a time.

See you then!

Race and Truth

Race.  A human contrived classification to explain our differences.

From all I have read and experienced our biological make-up is the same. Our natural variations are from the geological regions in the world. There are some scientific reasons we are varying colors and that has to do with the equator, not status.  Obviously the closer to the equator the darker the complexion (and it is the same for the poles). These facts are lost on the majority of people and it can blatantly been seen in the way  Race has been defined.

Unfortunately, Race is used as an excuse to hate.  Ignorance of what Race is and the and history behind it is what divides us. We develop ill-conceived perceptions and notions that warp our worldview and opinions of those who are different.

All those things can be overcome if we desire. How? Let’s start a real conversation about each other with one another. Common ground will prevail.  Talk to a person you never thought about having a conversation with (that’s right, the person who doesn’t look like you!).  One question is all it takes.

Step Out! is an open and honest world-wide movement, encouraging individuals to ask pertinent questions to those who are different than themselves. The goal? To recognize that our differences actually unite us, instead of divide.

When engaging within this group, our main and only rule is to be respectful.  If not, you will be kicked out.  Use everyday questions to learn about those who don’t look like you, making every effort to really listen and understanding their response before commenting.

Be bold and step out by connecting with someone who is different than you, today!

Let’s #BreakThroughHate, together, one meaningful connection at a time!

Be Bold. Step Out!

Cultural mindsets, deep-seeded hatred, unconscious biases and profiling tendencies. These things are rooted from within, a part of our daily thought processes and every-day perceptions. They didn’t happen overnight. Each stereotype or bent towards discrimination was planted a little at a time, until it permeated the way in which we view the world around us.
Biases, racism, prejudice, profiling… we all (yes, you too!), engage in and hold onto stereotypes and different, varying levels that affect the way in which we communicate with others.

What if we were to break those?

What if, we recognized one another’s differences, and rather than view them as a means to divide, found them to be a means to unite us?

We are all human after all, with a heart bent towards love, and a desire to feel valued and cared for.

Can that bring us closer?

Can our basic desires of wanting the best for ourselves and our families, our faith, our wanting to laugh, live and process change to the fullest invoke a sense of togetherness?

I think it can.

Infact, I know it can and believe it will.

My new movement, Step Out, has started up on Facebook. It is a group comprised of people of different ethnicities and backgrounds across our country, placing themselves in a position for open and honest dialogue.


By partaking in discussions with others who are different, I am certain people will begin to embrace those differences as a means to unify.

Will you join us?

Be bold and Step Out, today!

Let’s #BreakThroughHate together, one meaningful connection at a time.